My Wrestlers

When I was growing up in the 80's, wrestling was reaching an all-time high in its popularity.  No, I'm not talking about that great Olympic sport of wrestling...what's that?  Wrestling isn't an Olympic sport anymore?  When the hell did that happen?!?!?!?!?  Well that's stupid.  Anyway, no, I'm talking about the "sport" where they already know who's going to win the matches.  I loved wrestling back in the 80's and it carried over into the 90's when WWE and WCW were part of the Monday Night wars and ECW was killing it independently.  I stopped watching for the longest time but recently started watching again.  Yes, it's incredibly childish, immature, and white trashy, but I like it anyway.  Besides, being a person in the fitness industry, I have a great appreciation for what these guys are able to do athletically.  These guys are tremendous athletes and I dare you to argue that point with me.  So below is my list of my top 6 all time favorite wrestlers. 

6. The Road Warriors - These guys were just plain scary. Hawk (RIP) and Animal were absolutely insane in the ring. They were huge, athletic, agile, smart, and gave amazing promos. They came out to the ring with Iron Man playing as their song and it was just scary. When I was kid watching these guys, I was afraid. And I was in my living room. My favorite match all time was when they were in a scaffold match with The Midnight Express. That was just a fun match to watch.

5. The Rock & Roll Express -- So just as scary as the Road Warriors were, The Rock & Roll Express were equally NOT scary.  But they were a fun team to watch.  Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson were awesome with their bandannas all over their lower body, They were high flyers and generally just fun to watch.  They were easily my favorite tag team as a kid.  Not so much these days, but they were then, that's why they get the nod above the nasty Road Warriors.  Their feud with The Midnight Express seemed to last for years.  And Ricky Morton's feud with Ric Flair was awesome.  I can still see the face mask he had to wear because he "broke" his nose.  Classic. 

4. The Rock -- No, not the current movie star Rock.  The one that came out in the 90's/early '00's and was incredible.  We were all witness to perhaps the 2nd greatest promo guy of all time at that time.  He came out and put on a show.  He was extremely athletic, could talk like no other, was funny, and sold the holy hell out of his opponents beatings.  Watching him get hit you would think he got shot by a 25mm gun.  He would just be writhing in pain and he was able to tell an incredible story with his matches.  Great stuff.  Now he's just a crowd pandering puppet the WWE completely caters too and it's stupid. 

3. Ric Flair -- Incredible.  That's all that can be said.  Sure, this guy's personal life if is a complete mess.  But in the 80's and 90's he was the best.  His promos's were through the roof.  He wasn't exactly the best wrestler but he told great stories in the ring.  He was an ok athlete and not that big, but his storytelling and promos made him the biggest star on the planet.  His feuds with Magnum T.A, Dusty Rhodes, Ricky Steamboat, and generally anyone else he could talk smack to were incredible.  And the guy was definitely not afraid to bleed either.  It seemed like every match he had back in the day involved a copious amount of blood. 

2. Stone Cold Steve Austin - This guy was IT in the late 90's, early '00's.  There was no other.  He was the every-man's guy that drank beer, cussed at his boss, beat up his boss, and didn't take any shit from anyone.  He sure as hell didn't smile a whole lot and was the epitome of anti-hero.  He didn't do things as a "face" but the fans loved him so he was a face.  Once the crowd heard that glass break from his intro, all hell broke loose and the frenzy began.  If it wasn't for a broken neck from a pile driver and multiple knee surgeries, he might still be wrestling today.  My favorite Stone Cold moment was when he drove the beer truck into the arena and sprayed the ring with beer.  Flippin classic!

1.  Macho Man Randy Savage - I still get goosebumps listening to this guy give a promo.  I'm pretty sure he was on steroids and cocaine at the same time.  Never heard of that cocktail before but I'm sure he did it.  And I'm sure you will know what I mean if you saw his interviews.  Incoherent is an understatement.  But they were simply classic.  And the guy was an amazing athlete.  He played minor league baseball for the Cardinals organization before getting into wrestling with his brother.  He told incredible stories in the ring to back up his mouth.  And his match with Ricky Steamboat is widely considered the greatest match in wrestling history.  Talk about a story being told.  And his relationship with Elizabeth was a great sideshow to everything.  He was a total pig to her and just a jerk, which fit his character perfectly.  RIP Macho Man, you are definitely missed. 



My Gym Peeps

Most of us belong to a gym or we have in the past. If you don’t exercise in a gym, I’m assuming you exercise on your own at home, in the park, at a friend’s house, or some random parking lot. If you don’t exercise at all, shame on you, get moving! If you do or have belonged to a gym, I’m sure you have run across your share of different types of people. These types of people can be seen at every gym in the country, except maybe CrossFit gyms where they have their own little groups of people that I can make fun of some other time. Below are my favorite types of people to watch at any globo-gym.




6. The Baby Doll – We’ve all seen her. She is the ridiculously hot girl that genetics has allowed her to eat whatever she wants and she doesn’t gain a pound. We know this because when she “works out”, she jumps on the elliptical machine (‘nuff said), never gets her heart rate above 80, texts the entire time, and leaves. Absolutely no energy is exerted in her effort to exercise. Oh yea, and she’s wearing full makeup, hair done, and extremely tight clothes. Not that I mind looking at these types, but they are absolutely wasting space in the gym.

5. The Kids – This is the group of four or five 16 year-olds that come in to the gym, hang around the bench press for about a half hour then move over to the squat rack and do bicep curls for another half hour, then go to the leg press for another half hour, then leave. Each person in the group only gets about 3 sets in because the spend so much time talking about what they read in Muscle and Fitness or texting or just general BS that they get nothing done. Then they brag about how they worked out for an hour and half and feel like they are just beast mode. Again, wasting space…especially in the freaking squat rack when doing curls.

4. The Old Guy – This guy total cracks me up and I love seeing him. He’s the guy that wears knee high socks, Bike shorts so short you can see his bulge, a shirt that is at least 20 years old, and a headband. He does all of the old school exercises like bench press, squats, shoulder press, pull-ups, and curls. The only problem is he only goes through about half of his range of motion and has absolutely terrible form. But he doesn’t need to learn form because this is what he’s done for 56 years. It worked then so it must work now. And don’t you dare give him any advice because he will throw a dumbbell at you faster than you can say “get off of my lawn”.

3. The Couple – This one drives me crazy. It’s always a guy and a girl where the guy is “teaching” the girl how to exercise. He’s “teaching” her proper form, what exercises to do, exercise physiology, biomechanics, quantum physics, how to perform surgery, and how to disassemble a bomb. The girl is usually someone that takes whatever her boyfriend says as gospel and the boyfriend’s knowledge comes from the pages of Muscle and Fitness or Bodybuilding.com. He’s also about 20 lbs. overweight and has no idea what’s talking about and is going to get his girl, himself, or both of themselves injured.

2. The “CrossFitter” – I put quotations on this because he’s not a real CrossFit guy. He’s the guy that has seen the CF games on ESPN and thinks because he’s seen a clean and snatch done by super elite athletes a few times, he knows exactly what to do. He also thinks because he’s seen a few cross training style workouts on The Games, he knows exactly how to program his workouts to get the most of his strength, power, and cardio. He does deadlifts, squats, snatches, and kettlebell swings with a form that WILL, I repeat, WILL get him injured and then he’ll talk about how stupid CrossFit is (which it is but not for the same reason he is talking about).

1. The Gym Lawyer – This is the guy that I want to kick in the balls every time I see him. He’s the one that spends 2 hours in the gym, does 3 sets of 3 different exercises, and TALKS TO EVERY PERSON IN THE GYM AND TRIES TO TEACH THEM HOW TO EXERCISE. This guy is usually between the ages of 40-55. He has exercised for a long time and knows exactly what everyone else needs to be doing in the gym. He has also read Muscle and Fitness along with Bodybuilding.com. He knows exactly what you’re doing wrong with your workout, exactly what is wrong with your form, exactly what you need to add to your workout, and exactly what you need to eat. This guy is also a complete douche and has absolutely no idea what he is talking about. If you see him, run as fast as you can towards the nearest rowing machine. I say this because he has no idea why anyone would use such a silly machine so he won’t go anywhere near it. Run fast. The rowing machine is his kryptonite. Don’t make eye contact, just leave him alone and hope he leaves you alone. If you are an attractive girl, may God have mercy on your soul because he will come at you faster than Usain Bolt can run 100 meters.

My Bachelorhood

To say it's been a while is like saying Michael Jackson was weird.  My last post on this site was way back in 2009 when I was full of bliss, vigor, life, and matrimonial happiness.  Ummmm, yeah, not quite.  During 2009 I was fired from my job, went through unemployment for the entire year, and went through the roughest year of my marriage.  If you read the name of this article, you will easily come to the conclusion that things got much much worse, or better, depending on how you look at it, with the marriage.  I'm currently working an incredible job that I truly enjoy but it took a lot to get here.  So while that side of things went up, the personal side went down.  Or up, depending on how you look at it. 

I am now a single man after 14 years of marriage.  I got married when I was 22 years old and was with her for 4 years prior to that.  Needless to say, I've never really been a bachelor.  I've never had to live alone.  I've always had that someone in my life to either call at the end of the night or come home to.  When the separation first happened, I was absolutely lost.  I had no idea what to do with myself.  But I've discovered a few things as a new bachelor at 37 years old that I like. 

6.  My place is my place -- I've always lived with someone.  Obviously I grew up with a family but then moved to a fraternity, then to an apartment with my good buddie Steve, then the Navy, then my (evil) wife.  I've got my own place now and it's pretty exciting.  Sure I live in an apartment with sexually charged neighbors on one side and angry parents below me, but I can come and go as I please.  I can decorate as I see fit (thank you pinterest).  I can watch sports, Dexter, Sons of Anarchy, and Travel Channel all day long.  Well, on days my kids aren't there then it's flippin cartoons. 

This is what my apartment does NOT look like

 5.  My DVR -- When I was married, the wife and I watched shows together.  She would watch my sports and fall asleep while I would watch some of her shows and click away on a blog entry or something.  Never had a DVR.  In fact, we were without cable for a number of years.  But now I have cable and a DVR.  Currently on my DVR are the following:  The Daily Show, The Bible, Viking, The 3 Stooges, Young Guns (I and II of course!), and The Walking Dead. Yes, I do love my DVR and I will never give it up. 

4.  Dating - OK, this can be a little good and bad.  I'll focus on the good.  I love meeting new people.  Unfortunately, through the last few years of my marriage I allowed myself to become reliant on my wife's social network for entertainment.  Now I've been on a few dates, gone to some eateries (See #1) that I've never been to, and am having some great conversations.  While most of the dates have been nothing to write home about, it's still a fun experience.  I'm doing things at 37 that I should have done a long time ago.  It's very exciting to see all that's out there and possibly find that someone who could be the next Mrs. Arnold, or whatever she decides to do with her last name (it better be Arnold ha ha ha). 

3.  Traveling -- Two weekends ago I took a trip to Chicago.  Drove up for the weekend to visit a good friend.  I didn't have to coordinate schedules.  I didn't have ask if it was OK.  I simply jumped in my truck, drove 5 hours, met my buddy at Kuma's Corner, at a Metallica burger while watching Dead Snow and listening to heavy metal music.  It was great.  And you know what, if I want to drive to St. Louis next weekend, I can.  Or Nashville.  Or anywhere I want to.  And the only person I have to tell is me.  Sure I might let the ex-Mrs. Arnold know simply because of the kids and all.  But I can just get up and go.  NICE!



Eat here.  Order the Metallica, medium rare. 

2.  Money -- Don't get me wrong, I definitely got the wrong end of the stick regarding the finances of the divorce.  I gained more debt in the process and I'm swimming.  That said, my money is my money.  Well, I guess you can consider all of my debt's money.  I choose to think of it as mine.  I not busy watching where all of the funds go and having to wonder if I will have to move bills around.  My money is my money and I know exactly where it's coming from and where it's going.  No ambiguity.  That's comforting.  Now I just need to get more of it. 

1.  My tour of Louisville's bars and eateries -- You may or may not be reading this from Louisville.  If you are, look me up, I'd love to grab a beer with you.  If not, you need to come.  Louisville has a ridiculous restaurant and bar scene.  I always heard about it while married but we were home bodies and we really didn't go out too much.  Now that I have free time, I'm exploring.  Eiderdown (thanks Andrea), Garage Bar, DiOrios, BBC in St. Matthews, Silver Dollar.  And that's just the very tip top of the iceberg.  I've made it my personal mission to go to every single bar in town.  It's awesome exploring all of the new places, meeting new people, eating new food, drinking new drinks, and living the life I haven't had in a long time.  Sure I could have done this while married but it's much more fun doing it on my own with new peeps that don't make me angry.