My Pets

If you think about some of the pets you have had, you surely have had a favorite. Conversely, you have also gotten that one pet where you wish you could just find a way to make it leave for good without having PETA knocking on your door. I have had quite a number of pets in my life. From dogs to cats to birds to fish, my family and I have had quite a few. Below is a list of my favorite pets I have had.

6. Abe's Fish: When Abe was about 3 years old, my wife and I thought it would be a good idea to buy Abe some fish. I can't remember what kind of fish we bought but I made sure it would be the kind that lived longer than 48 hours. I didn't realize that I had bought bionic fish. One afternoon while Abe was supposed to be taking a nap, he decided to empty all of the contents from the fish food jar and bowl cleaning chemicals into the fish tank. What resulted was a toxic fish tank. You would think the fish would have croaked but I think it just made them stronger, like The Toxic Avenger. A couple of months later they were moved cross country from Iowa to Kentucky and survived completely unharmed. They lived for about 3 months in KY before dying. But these guys were fighters!

5. Buzzard: While living in Virginia Beach, my wife and I somehow adopted a love bird named Buzzard. We should have known by the name what kind of personality this vicious little creature had. He did not like us one bit and every time we opened his cage to clean it he would fly around the house. Getting him back into the cage was an hour-long process that involved many towels and band-aids. But it was fun little bird to have. We didn't have Buzzard very long though. After letting a friend watch him for a weekend while we went away, and watching how well behaved he was with her, we allowed her to keep him. That's a good thing because I was running out of places for the vicious thing to claw.

4. Scruffy: This was my first dog, which is really the only reason why he is on this list. Scruffy was a pure mutt, he slept all day long, didn't really play much, and was probably retarded. But he was a nice dog to have around while growing up. Towards the end of his life, he couldn't really see very well, which would explain him getting hit by a car in front of my house. That wasn't a good morning before school.

3. Lemon: OK, let it be known that I generally am not a cat kind of guy. But this cat was pretty cool. It had a very distinct personality that made me laugh. My favorite memory of this little feline was waking up in the middle of the night and seeing Lemon perched on the nightstand staring at me as if to say, "I could kill you anytime I want". That didn't happen just once, it was something that happened quite frequently. If not for the physiological inability to hold its urine, the cat would still be alive today.

2. Jake / Zen: When this dog was born, he was given the name of Zen by a couple of friends of my brother Mike. When they moved and couldn't take care of it anymore, my family took him and renamed him Jake. Jake was a half chow-half bullmastiff mix and was about 150 lbs worth of muscle and stupidity. My favorite story of him was that one time when he was left in the garage, he chewed the top off of a bottle of Captain Morgan's Rum and drank the whole bottle. Needless to say, he didn't feel very good for a couple of days and even vomited a few times. There's another story of him finding a way to escape the garage by breaking through the fiberglass garage door. Yes, he was that strong. Eventually he got too much for my parents and the original owners came back to the area and we returned him. He was an awesome dog though and an absolute blast to play with.

1. Frankie: This is my little diva. Frankie is a 9 lb. miniature dauchshound with the attitude of a 100 lb pitbull. My wife Katie actually stole (rescued) Frankie from a couple that was not treating her very nice. I came home from work one time and there she was. She is now 10 years old and starting to slow down a little bit but she still has every bit of attitude she has always had. She completely dominates the Scottish terrier, Mazzie (notice how she is NOT on the list). It will be a sad day in the Arnold family when Frankie visits the great farm in the sky but until then I am very happy to have her curled up on the chair with me.